The holiday season is a time of joy and celebration, but it can also be a challenging time for people in recovery from substance use disorders. Many holiday parties involve alcohol, which can trigger cravings, temptations, or relapses for those who are trying to stay sober. Here are some do’s and don’ts for how to be a good ally for your friends and loved ones in recovery.
- DO ask what they need and how they feel about attending a holiday party.
- DON’T pressure them to attend or skip a party and DO respect their decision about going or not going.
- If you are the host, DO offer non-alcoholic beverages, food, games, music or other fun activities that don’t involve alcohol.
- If you are a guest, DO bring “safe” drinks for yourself and your friend or offer to stay sober with them.
- If your friend decides not to attend a holiday gathering, DO suggest alternative ways to celebrate the holidays, such as going to a movie, a museum, a concert, or a volunteer event.
- DO be supportive and positive towards your friend.
- DON’T draw attention to their recovery status or make them feel different or excluded.
- DON’T ask them why they are not drinking or offer them an alcoholic drink.
- DON’T make jokes or comments about their past substance use or their recovery process.
- DO compliment them on their achievements, encourage them to have fun, and express your gratitude for their friendship.
- DO have a plan with your friend on how to deal with any stress, triggers, anxiety, negative emotions, or peer pressure they may encounter.
- DO have a code word or a signal that your friend can use to let you know if they need to leave or talk to you.
- If your friend relapses or has a crisis, DON’T panic or blame them. DO stay calm and supportive and help them get the appropriate help. You can also follow up with them after the party and check on their well-being.
Remember that your friend’s recovery is their own responsibility, but you can be a valuable source of support, encouragement, and love for them.
